DAR and other organizations and adoption

Question

I would love some feedback and varying perspectives.  Organizations like DAR and many others, do not allow you to join if you are adopted.  Although I understand their point, I hesitate to join any of these organizations because of how it might effect my grandson, who is adopted.  I would never want to do anything, or be associated with anything that might make him feel less that real family.  This is obviously close to my heart, so I would love to hear others perspectives.

Comments

The DAR was on the wrong side of history when they would not allow Marian Anderson, a world-renown singer, from singing in Constitution Hall because of her race. Eleanor Roosevelt resigned her membership because of that. The federal government then invited her to sing at the Lincoln Memorial on Easter Sunday in 1939. 75,000 people attended.

Adopted children are our children just as biological children are.

I suspect the DAR will again be the wrong side of history.

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Thank you so much for your encouragement.  Actually, it applies in more than one way as my beautiful grandson is bi-racial.  Go Eleanor - for this and so many other things.  Would have loved to be one of the 75,000!  This story made my day.

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Hi there, I know the history of DAR and Marion Anderson has been a rough one- but they have changed their views long ago - you can read about it  here-https://www.dar.org/national-society/marian-anderson

We welcome women of diverse backgrounds into the organization and there are many women of color who join.

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Adopted children can apply for membership but it has to be through the lineage of one of their birth parents, and being bi-racial doesn't matter.

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Thanks for that Rhonda.  We all have areas to grow in, and I know DAR has purposed to be the best it can be.  I hope no one saw my question as putting the DAR in a negative light.  My motive was to gain additional perspectives.  Case in point - we all have areas to grown in - lol.  I so appreciate everyone who has taken from their time to answer.  I love Wiki-Treers!

Answer 1

Cindy:

        If you want to join the D.A.R., I think that you should do it.   I don't think that it would really adversely affect him.

       My grandchildren both come from my stepdaughter and I have special relationships with both of them.  When my granddaughter found out her mother was not my natural child at about 12, she just observed that I was still her grandfather and that nothing was different.  

       The time that your family and you spend with your grandson and the attention and the love that your family and you lavish on him are what he will remember and what will make him feel part of your family, not membership in an organization.

                               Roger

P.S. Plus on the upside, he couldn't join the D.A.R. anyway (grin).

   

Comments

I agree. If you want to join, then join. Even biological grandchildren may not have any interest in also becoming members. My own children are only slightly interested in my family tree obsession. I signed them up as junior members, but I doubt they will continue as adults.

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Thank you Roger and Sandra for taking the time to answer.  I appreciate your perspective and encouragement.  It's a complicated issue and I am grateful for you helping me see it from different sides.  Thanks again!