Sending e-postcards with message, does this sound okay?

Question

I'm sending out e-postcards to friends introducing them to WikiTree.  Can someone please review the following and let me know if the message is okay?  Too long? Or, whatever?  Thank you kindly.

https://www.wikitree.com/index.php?title=Special:Ecards&p=WikiTree_Images.jpg

Edit:  I just clicked on the above link and it takes you to the page but the message isn't there.  I'll need to figure out how to include the message and the link at the same time.  Sorry.

The following is the message:

Hi Denny, 

How are you? I'm sending you this e-postcard from WikiTree. A place where I've been spending most of my time lately. This is not an advertisement, nor am I sponsored, it's all free! 

Once you get the feel of WikiTree and how it's set up, you'll enjoy exploring and researching your ancestor's. There are projects and sub-projects to join and no pressure. I participate in the Data Doctor's challenge, a weekly report is posted within the community and lists suggestions for profiles. I like to work on correcting misspellings, minor errors, add missing Biography and Sources headlines, and a 'references' tag (placed directly under the Sources headline) when needed. I enjoy correcting 'USA/United States too early in locations' whether it be birth, marriage, and/or death. This means USA/United States is shown in the location(s) field and simply needs to be edited out because, for whatever reason, was entered too early for time period. (USA did not become a country till after 04 July 1776) For example: Birth date: 09 August 1772, Birth location: Virginia, USA. So, in 'edit' mode I'd go in and correct location field by removing 'USA,' hit Save. Because, USA didn't become a country till after 04 July 1776, any state prior is/was one of the 13 colonies. So, for someone being born in Virginia, I'd correct and replace 'Virginia, USA' -> 'Colony of Virginia.' 

With that being said, hope you have a wonderful day and remember WikiTree, a highly respected and informative community with friendly people who are ready to help answer any questions. That's how I thought of you. It gives me pleasure to introduce you to WikiTree. We are all branches on one global tree. I picked out this special postage stamp just for you. Okay cousin Denny?

Respectfully,

Paula

Comments

I like what you have written. It is a bit overwhelming for someone who has never looked at the site.

If you are making a ʻcold callʻ, in the second paragraph I would just mention that they should take a look at your profile and notice how they can find your parents, etc.

Then I would provide the link to the Intro to WikiTree. And express your willingness to help them get started.

I am a minimalist, I think.

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I agree.  Too overwhelming.  Cut out the second paragraph from 'I like to work on...' You need to emphasise that this is a genealogy site, not an opportunities for proofreading site.