Procedure questions re merge and connect, and whether to add dec. infants

Question

I've been doing some work on my partner's ancestors.  

1.  His maternal great-grandparents both have two profiles.  I have requested a merge on both, but haven't heard back yet.  No problem, it's only been about a week for the first.

"My" great-grandparent profiles are the older ones, but are not connected, as I didn't know her parents names.  I do now, but hesitate to connect them, since it will likely make a mess.

Should I wait until the merges have been approved, and at that time, will they automatically join with the parents?

2.  One of the 'kids' has 4 children listed in my family papers.  I've just shown them on her Bio until I have more time.  I noticed that there is a longer space between 2 and 3, and 3 and 4.  Digging through Vital Stats, there were children who died at 2 and 3 months in those spaces.

Should I add the deceased infants, or just note them in the parents' profiles?  Does adding people who obviously never grew up to have descendants, just clutter the site, or should they be included for accuracy?

Thanks for any input.  Brenda

Comments

You are more than welcome to add those babies and children who only lived a short time.  There is a {{Died Young}} sticker for the littles who never grew up.

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Thanks, Melanie.  I will add them, to give a more complete picture.

Answer 1

The question of whether or not to add deceased infants, because they didn't live long enough to have descendants is one which rouses strong feelings among WikiTreers.  So your decision will be based on how *you* feel.

Personally, I add them.  They are, after all, members of their family.  Just because they had no descendants is not, IMHO, a strong enough reason.  I am unmarried and have no children.  Does that mean I should not be added? /jk

Comments

I think they should be added as well, because otherwise, the family is incomplete.  Add them, and then I can use the 'no more children' button.

It also gives a more complete picture to someone coming along later.  The 4 children who lived were girls; the 2 who died were boys.  Perhaps that could be important to someone at a later date.

Thank you, Ros.

Answer 2

Until a few years ago, my father had (imo) 3 siblings. Out of the blue, my aunt said once: "From what I know, my mother got a baby girl between (my uncle) and me. But you gotta ask (the other uncle) about that." My aunt also told me the name of her dead sister. I put that girl with a "between then and then" date in my online tree at MyHeritage. Years later, I saw the death certificates for Hesse there. Looking in the database, I found my "little" aunt. She only lived for two weeks. But that doesn't matter for me, she is my aunt.

Answer 3

I also add the children, when I have time.  I agree it "makes the family complete."  But I also think it aids in future research, what if someday WT is complete enough that it could be used for mortality statistics, or ???

Answer 4

I "enjoy" adding those who died as infants or as older children/youths who died before marriage and children. In part it's personal, my Grandma had a son who lived just two and a half days and yet we, born thirty years later, all knew of his existence and the love she bore him (which I am sure was the case too with earlier ancestors) and in part because they are such satisfying profiles to "complete." Before civil registration it's generally just two sources, baptism and burial and it's done!

Answer 5

I always add them because they are part of the family no matter how long they lived.

The parents (and any siblings too) experienced the pregnancy, the birth of the child and then the terrible grief of losing them, no matter how short their life was. Such an experience remains part of their lives forever.

Their presence in WikiTree helps descendants have a better understanding of what the life of the family might have been like, especially when there are multiple child or infant deaths. Such experiences are part of the rich tapestry of life that shapes us all, so even if all we know is their existence, it still provides a small window into the life of that family.

I add sons and daughters who never married or had children for similar reasons.