Question of the Week: Are there adoptions in your family tree? [closed]

Question

Were any of your ancestors or relatives adopted? Tell us about them with an answer below. (For privacy reasons, please do not give information about any living people other than yourself.)

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PS. Do you have an interest in helping adoptees learn about their family history? Our amazing Adoption Angels Project may be for you.

Comments

From what I can remember, there have been at least two adoptions in my family tree. One on my mom's side of the family and one on my dad's side of the family. Both sides adopted children.

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I'm adopted and I'm sure there are adoptees that I'm not aware of. i was adopted at 3 days old. I know my birth family and have built a tree for them as well as my adopted family.  I've done DNA and would like to add my birth parents and connect the DNA results to my profile but I don't know how/if it's possible to do on Wikitree.

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From a DNA test for parents, in the absence of documents, I believe that it would be possible to list the natural parents and probably with the "confirmed by DNA" tag. My understanding is that WikiTree is preferentially for genetic connections. Hence, in my own mother's profile, I have added her biological parent in the family links, but reference her legal parents with the appropriate WikiTree tags in the Biography text. Not 100% sure if this is the preferred way...It is more challenging with her father's ancestry, as he was out-of-wedlock, and while I've identified a strong candidate for his father from DNA matches, in the absence of closer connections and any documentation, I'm not sure how to add him. The DNA evidence is strong, with about 20 connections at the appropriate match level with his legitimate, documented descendants, but it's not impossible that my actual great grandfather was a son, brother, or nephew. Similar issues with the parents of my mothers, maternal grandmother.

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Thank you! I'll certainly try. Your family history sounds a little like mine. Very interesting but hard to figure out at times. I was told the wrong birth father (Her first husband-My birth mother's story changed several times) and have a very nice tree for him now  When I did my DNA it turned out to be another guy she'd mentioned and even had me meet, then changed her mind again. There's also another husband and 6 more children.

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On WikiTree you can be you. Meaing you can have a profile for your adopted self and your birth self. That way you can show your DNA connections via your biological family lines as well.

Eowyn Langholf Our WikiTree Elf as her adopted self.
Eowyn Ramos Our WikiTree Elf as her birth self.

The QOW is featured in the Saturday Roundup LiveCast . I'll be showing this and how this works on WikiTree in this weekend's LiveCast.

You will find more information about this in the Adoption Angels Project verbiage.

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I know of one important adoption----a first cousin; surprise to us all when Ancestry pointed to it.

Also, on my mother's side, my great aunt adopted two children, a boy and a girl.  I loved them both as I was growing up, and I kept in touch with at least one of them; the other has since passed.  Both children knew they had been adopted, and most of the family knew also.  But love was there to stay!

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Adoption is trauma; a ripple in one's life continuum. Sometimes choice and chance err on the favorable ream of reality; but not always.

My personal experience in genealogy is it is "gut wrenching" to both the seeker and the searcher. I have had experience with over a dozen adoptions, known and unknown and various periods of history. I warn that it will be painful even if their live is good now and they may need to seek help with the emotional undercurrent of the process.  I see my job as to advice them of the historical content of the time with the best research I can find.

The worst mistake I made was to joke, "your great grandmother may had an affair with the blacksmith". Well, iceman would have been a more accurate acknowledgement to the time period.  The reference was to discrepancies family appearances, family mannerisms and health issues; adoption was not on anyone's radar. Imagine five generations believing they were "Randolph" and the reality is they were "Smith". Legally "they" still are "Randolph" but biologically they are Smith DNA that carries forward.

The most shocking discovery I made was to find out I had a first cousin buy an Uncle no one ever knew was married! The marriage was one year before I was born. I must say I find it odd no one seemed to know or conveniently forgot about it. (possibility of 16 witness in my line alone). Unless I met this Uncle before the age of two, I was under the impression, I never met him because "he took off to Florida with an older woman".

The most challenging life mastery, was the discovery of  a first cousin 2 x removed that I had previously discovered that her grandfather had been given up for adoption my my father's sister. Extremely complex soap opera emotionally and taxing task to do the tree.

Answer 1

Yes, there was an adoption in my family. I am the adoptee. I knew growing up that I was adopted and my parents supported my decision to find my biological parents. My dad died before I took a DNA test and found out who my biological parents are.

Answer 2

Yes. My mother was adopted, but she grew up NOT knowing she was adopted.

This was the norm for adoptions back  during WW2 when adoptions were considered to be shameful and most of them were closed adoptions.

My mother only learned of being adopted after her adoptive mother died in 1980 when my mother was in her 40s and I was a teenager.

This threw ME into a crisis. If my mother ever had a crisis, I did not know about it. But I was certainly in a crisis. I had suddenly lost half of my identity. I was 16 years old when my mother learned that she was adopted.

It took me almost 20 years to persuade her to get her original birth certificate and then another 20 years to get a DNA test, which has now been done.

I now know who her fathers family are, but thus far I dont know for sure who her father was because there were 3 brothers in that family and none of the grandchildren are willing to do a DNA test to confirm or eliminate their father as my grandfather or not.

On my family tree I have chosen the one brother who never married and who stayed in the rural town where my grandmother lived, for the rest of his life, while his brothers got married and moved to the big city.

I do not know for sure if he is my grandfather but I like to think he is.

My grandmothers family has been traced all the way back to Charlemagne!!

I also have 2 other ancestors who were orphans and whose fathers are unknown..

https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Mallett-275

https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Found-68

Comments

That’s a shame. If someone contacted me I’d certainly point them toward the DNA test that I’ve already taken or take a new one if they wished.

There wasn’t so much openness on my mom’s side of the family but my Uncle Bill and my dad especially would open the skeleton filled closets for me and one of my cousins.

I hope one day that one of them may change their mind for you because what’s it going to hurt at this point in time, seriously?

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Some of my biological (father's side) relatives were very cold to me when I made contact. My aunt never replied to my email, and my cousin sent me a curt message and has never replied since. I am grateful that my father's cousins have been more welcoming. 

I think there's a few things going on, none of which are the adoptee's (or in my case, the NPE's) fault:

1. No one in MY family would ever give up a child/have an affair. That only happens in bad families, and mine is a good family.

The arrogance is breathtaking.

2. This person is probably a fraud and they're after the family money.

What money? What am I possibly going to take? Their Bibles and their busted F-150s?

3. I only took this test to find out my ethnic makeup. I don't care about this person. It's not my problem. 

They'll come running to us genealogists begging for help when they turn out to be an NPE, or it happens to someone they care about. When it affects them, then they'll care. A lot.

4. I knew my parents/aunts or uncles/etc., and they would never do this. These DNA tests are fake.

The only person any of us can ever really know is ourselves, and most people don't accomplish that. You don't know what your parents or siblings or uncles or aunts got up to every moment of every day of their lives. 

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My mother knew she was adopted -- but we, her children, did not.  When she was able to meet her birth family, I felt as you did -- like my own identity was in question.  My mother was adopted into the Tabors -- and being "Tabor" is central to my identity.  Now, I was shaken.  

I really resonated when you said that.  It's hard!  But I've come through the other side, more a Tabor than ever (although I have added my mother's biological family to WT).

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Thank you Jessica. That list has made my day!!! 

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Tabor,

My mother was originally connected to WT through her biological mothers family since we did know who they were, from her original birth certificate. As I said her mothers family goes all the way back to Charlemagne.

When I first came to Wikitree, I was connected to the Global tree through a Notable relative on my fathers side. My fathers ancestry has never been in question. I also have DNA connections with his side of the family as well.

My mother did ask me to find out her adoptive family's ancestry and I have done that. Their ancestors are on WT and connected to the global tree, but I have made no connection/link between my adoptive grandparents profiles and my mother because they were quite frankly, not very nice people. They were somewhat abusive.

My mother has the family bible that lists all the BDM records for the adoptive family, which helped me to create their tree, but I ignore that tree as much as I can.

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Congrats!!! That is wonderful!

Answer 3

A cousin of my mother was adopted. Her mother had a stillborn baby, but came home with a baby (4 months old) from the hospital, about 1900. Two birth registrations about 4 months apart showing the same parents.

My two grandsons and a nephew are adopted, all from Russia. My grandsons, 15 and 18 do not seem too curious about their adoptions at this point.

My nephew (25 now) was curious at age 14 or 15. So my brother found the papers with an address for his motherʻs parents. He wrote to them and quickly received a return email. The grandparents were thrilled (grandma cried all night). My brother and his son traveled to Russia, met the family including a younger half brother. His mother was deceased, but he met her sisters, learned about her, and went to the cemetery. He does stay in touch with them.

Answer 4

It was in my thirties that I learnt that my father was adopted by the Moss family as a baby. His father was Reginald Schaare, the male line going back to Johann Friedrich Jacob Schaare who arrived in New Zealand on the Friedeburg that sailed from Germany on 7 May 1875 and arrived in Napier 24 August 1875.

My father's female line I can trace back to Mary Rielly/Reilly, daughter of Thomas Rielly and Bridget McGrath of Ireland (Both I have yet to research). Mary arrived in New Zealand with her husband Cornelius Egan in 1864 on the Steinwaeder.

My early years I grew up knowing the Moss relations as well as my Mother's Coombe family. My father's mother divorced Reginald and changed her last name to Shaw. The Schaare family is well represented in New Zealand though I have never met any of them.

WikiTree has allowed me to uncover my 'roots'. This has been very important to me.

Answer 5

I know that a great aunt had a child “out of wedlock” which was then given to a new family. A descendant of the baby girl once contacted a relative who was suffering from the early stage of dementia, who passed on that there had been an enquiry but didn’t have any details to follow. I’m hoping that I get a lead in the next 10 years when the birth might become available under the 100 years rule (my guestimation of the approximate date).

Answer 6

No really, but there were several instances of fostering children, some related and at least one not, That would be my late "Aunt" Corine who I loved dearly.

Answer 7

Yes, my grandsons' father was adopted, and I'd love to figure out a way to add his genetics to their tree...

Comments

If you have profiles for your grandson's father's biological and adoptive parents, you can use their Wikilinks to add their names to your grandson's father's profile.

His biography could say something like this:

John Smith was raised by his adoptive parents, Adam Smith and Barbara  Carter Smith. John Smith's biological parents were Daniel Jones and Elsa Olson Jones.

If Wikilinks are used for their names, they will link people to their profiles, and to them.

Answer 8

I have a first cousin who is adopted. It wasn’t a secret as he is  the son of my Aunt Polly’s sister.

There are a couple of others back in the mid to late 1800s that were unofficial. I guess those would be more of a fostering situation except they used the family surnames.

I’ve stumbled across two where my male ancestors married widows and adopted the children. Again no record if they were legal adoptions but the younger ones took the surname.

Comments

I have seen similar things with brothers or sisters marrying their siblings' widow and the names changing for the children sometimes (which makes meeting earlier and later documentation together quite difficult).

Answer 9

My great aunt adopted two sisters, but they were a little older and everyone knew they were adopted.   They were always just part of the family.

Answer 10

yes, one of my grandchldren  and they see menbers of the birth family several times a year.

Answer 11

1.) Lt. Earl Wall (Wall-6005) second cousin twice removed, died in WWI.

2.) Samuel Grant Weeks (Weeks-5368), a great-granduncle, who is believed to lived under the name Grant Weeks Phillips, see FamilySearch ID 9V2F-BRS, and adoptive parent James H Phillips (Phillips-40553).  Still have to get these profiles sorted.

Answer 12

A cousin's spouse had two generations of ancestors who were adopted, one by a notable city architect, the other a few generations ago.

But you know how some people go to great lengths just to adopt a newborn baby?

My brother was almost abducted the day he was born. A lady had been stealing babies from the hospital, and the staff were trying to catch her. 

My mom was warned by a nurse, "See the pink stripe on our name tags? Make sure you see that pink stripe if a nurse comes in. If there is no pink stripe, do not give her your baby."

My mom was confused and disturbed, but she said, "Okay...."

Mere hours later, my mom was nursing my brother when a lady came in asking how she was, before saying she looked tired, that she needed to rest, and told her to hand her my brother.

My mom said, confused, "Well... yeah, I'm tired, but he's nursing right now!"

The lady then changed tone and became snappier, insisting she hand her the baby. She grabbed my brother, trying to take him by force. He started crying.

My mom cried, "No! He's nursing right now!"

That's when my mom recalled what the nurse said and saw there was no pink stripe on her badge.

She yelled, "NURRRRSE! NURSE!"

The lady bolted, followed by several hospital staff shouting at her down the hallways.

To this day, I don't know if the baby thief was caught, nor can I find information on her. It happened in Edmonds, Washington state, USA in spring of 1989.

Comments

What a horrifying story! Thank goodness the would be kidnapper wasn't successful.

Answer 13

I am the adoptee. I found my biological maternal side mid 90's when the genealogical side of the internet wasn't much more than message boards through shear luck. I've since found my biological paternal side through 23andMe and the assistance of WikiTree Adoption Angels. I know of some biological maternal side cousins that were adopted out as well, and since found.

Answer 14

Yes.  In my extended family there is at least one adoption out of the family - my eldest maternal brother and a number of 'family court and or child protection induced departures of children'.  At least one of them was under false pretenses.

Answer 15

My grandfather William Murphy

https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Murphy-18753

was informally adopted by his aunt, his father's sister, when his mother died when he was one. She brought him and her son to New Zealand a few years later, and they both took on her husband's name of Thomson. When he told people that his real name was Murphy, they didn't believe him. But we have his birth record - and the DNA matches to his Murphy family.

Comments

Good sleuthing!

Answer 16

I am adopted, my biological mother is adopted, and then after taking a DNA test and contacting all the cousins to figure out where I fit, I found 4 other people who were adopted (or their parents were adopted). I was amazed at how many adoptions happened on both sides of family tree.

Answer 17

My grandmother on my moms side was adopted, all is a name for her birth motheer but so far have uncovered nothing for her. My great grandmother on my fathers side was adopted but we think she was adopted from another family member. I have so many cousins on my fathers side that we are only recently finding because they were put up for adoption and no one knew about them, 2 of my aunts (my fathers youngest sisters) were adopted by an amazing family when they were little because my grandmother died and their father left. The older siblings tried to take care of the younger ones until they were caught by the state. When we found them back in the 80s it had been over 30 years since they had seen each other. We have some cousins that were adopted in too. And one of my brothers was adopted in.

Answer 18

My great grandmother was orphaned in an attack by native Americans according to family lore. As far as we know, she had no living immediate family as a result.

Comments

She has you :)

Answer 19

Yes; my grandfather was born in NYC and adopted by a family in Wisconsin. I assume he was part of the “Orphan Trains” to the Midwest, but have never been able to find out what his birth name was or really anything else. People didn’t talk about adoptions in that generation, and I’d love to get some help finding out who his birth parents were.

Answer 20

Yes, but only in collateral lines so far. There is a long tradition of unofficial adoptions of orphans (usually children of relatives, but not always). One of our family mysteries is the appearance (with no baptismal records) of several Glovers born in the 1880s and 1890s. Oral tradition has it that their mother was a Glover and after her death (and the presumed death of her husband), the children were adopted into several Glover families. So far, I have not found the records (marriage, death, etc.) to support this.