Question of the Week: Are there adoptions in your family tree? [closed]

Question

Were any of your ancestors or relatives adopted? Tell us about them with an answer below. You can also answer on Facebook or use the question image to share your answer with friends and family on social media.

(For privacy reasons, please do not give information on living people.)

PS. Do you have an interest in helping adoptees learn about their family history? See our Adoption Angels Project.

Comments

My siblings and I learned that my mother was adopted only after the death of her mother, who died after my mother. The mention of my mother being an adopted child was entered in the death paperwork for her (adoptive) mother's estate. This was prior to the Internet and personal computers. It took years to discover my mother's biological parents, who were, by then, deceased. We were able to communicate with my mother's biological brother, who was raised by their biological parents. It was wonderful to meet my cousins, too, for the first time, and to find out what nice people they are!

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To L Oughterson,

Take a look at Kristiansen-430. This is a person who was adopted. She is attached to her biological parents, and their ancestry. Then, in her biography, her adoptive parents are also mentioned, and linked to their ancestry.

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Good question.  I have one, possibly two, instances in my family (DOB 1860, about 1870).  We have gone to the County Clerk looking for the records and there is some considerable doubt where they are.  There is a big dollop of irony here because at the time the adoptive father was the Clerk of the Court.

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@ David McNicol,

Did the clerk tell you, "we don't know where those records are"?   Or did she say, "there are no official records of adoptions for this time frame"? Perhaps you are looking for something which never existed.

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One of my sisters had the conversation so I do not know first hand what the answer to your question is.  My understanding is that the Clerk was ambiguous--she was sure that her office did not hold the records but she was not sure where they might be found.

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One of things that I found very confusing on Wikitree is the way we treat adoptions. However, as I explore the ins and outs, I find it is actually quite clear, (but a little rule bound).
Adoptees are the only people on Wikitree to be allowed 2 separate profiles. https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Space:Adoptees:_How_to_Set_Up_Your_Profile This has to be done so that DNA is linked to the correct part of Wikitree.  I am (slightly schizophrenic) both Martin Brabander (my adopted and therefore real name) and Brian Stynes (My Birth name with DNA Links). Both profiles have enough information to explain the complications, usinmg the adoption template.
 

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Thank you for such a clear explanation

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I come here at least once a week, tell my story, then get embarrassed and don't hit "add comment"

But I came to G2G today to ask how to help a very dear friend. He's always known he was adopted, his parents both recently passed away, they were such wonderful people.

Then out of the blue, his wife also died months after losing her Mom. Just so much sadness for a really good man, who is a friend of over 30 years. He is interested for the first time to find biological family, even if it's just to have a more full medical history for his son, who is five. Is there someone who I can put him in touch with here? He has a tree at Ancestry and I've encouraged  him to do the DNA test, and upload it there and here... but we both (One of my grandparents is not "by blood", and it turns out the missing biological grandparent has an entry here. So I've hesitated to upload *my* DNA test before possibly writing and introducing myself) - we both are very hesitant about "crashing into" our biological - into people's lives. But I do know how important it is to have medical information, I'm only missing 1/4 of my medical history, but he doesn't have any.

Help is appreciated, and I think this is a great thing, glad to see discussion. One of my parents was adopted by one of their parents, and I never for a second felt anything but loved and part of that family.

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My grandmother always use to say nothing ventured nothing gained.

I think it would be less of a shock to upload his results to the site than to have someone introduce themself as a son or sibling. This would give the other person time to come around to the conclusion themselves. After all it might be a first cousin or an uncle or aunt willing to help. In life we often look back at missed opportunities and wish we had done this or that now is the time to make a careful move whether it is accepted with grace and favor is then in the lap of the Gods.But at least he has tried.

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I am adopted and my brother is adopted. We come from different families but "always knew" we were adopted. I searched off and on from my 20s, learned the name of my birth mother but not much else. Then three years ago, I took the spit test and with the help of the Adoption Angels, found both parents.

I've created family trees for both adoptive parents and both bio parents. I've had zero contact with any surviving people which is a disappointment but at least I know my origins.

After all these years and a lack of curiosity, my brother has taken the spit test and is now also getting help from AA to find his bio parents.

The interesting thing is that both of us have a clear Ashkenazi Jewish family line even though we were adopted into a Catholic family by Catholic Charities, brought up Catholic (school and church) and had no clue this was our heritage. Something about that is really troubling.

Answer 1

I am an adoptee, and only just got interested in searching for my Birth family in the last few years, mainly to honour the dying wishes of my adopted mother. Have found a deceased mother, and 3 half siblings who want absolutely nothing to do with me, But I am also making connections with my mother's brother, and and beginning to get a sense of my maternal Irish tree and history. Father is a current brick wall, but DNA and hard work with some wonderful helpers is giving me some hope that I might one day get a name.

Comments

My birthmother named X as my birthfather. Three years ago, when I was 67 yrs old, I got a DNA match to a new uncle. His brother was really my birthfather and best friend of X. All players are long dead or I would have strangled them.

Angry for a long time, but still prefer the truth over the lie.

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Marie, Your timing of selecting my reply as the best answer is amazing. Three hours ago, I rang my Uncle (who I had spoken to on the phone from New Zealand) to say that I was in Ireland. I was so nervous about getting rejected, but I have just spent an awesome two hours at their home, meeting my aunt and uncle and 1 of their daughters. I'm floating on the endorphins now.

Answer 2

I am the parent, a cousin, an aunt, and more of adoptees. Adoption is a habit in our family. I think you will find at least one adoption in each nuclear family in my tree.  Thats why I think it is so incredibly important to include adopted kids in trees - both birth trees and adoption trees. Some of the adoptees in my tree are foreign adoptions, some domestic, some stepparent, some inter-family, one is surrogate, and some kept secret until until the adoptee is older or dies. Gone are the days when bloodlines were a critical component of fully belonging in a family.

Comments

Absolutely agree with you!

But sometimes, it goes even farther. Not all adoptees want to know their birth family.  And for those who pursue it, I have noted that there is a consistent ratio of about 1:1 for those who it brings happiness/those for whom it is sad, horrific and even tragic.

While I qualify for almost every lineage group in spades, I refuse to join them as they do not allow adoptees. This can be particularly disturbing as I know of some that are better representatives of their long legacies than those by birth.

Of course if you do DNA, there may be many other surprises along the way.  Probably, I have a re

I have noted that my recent Baltic Noble ancestors do allow for adoptions and are noted as such in the Adels but does not preclude them from being designated with the noble name.

On the other hand, I have 4 people that have approached me who are matches in the 3-5 cousin range and like myself at every provider to watch for anything that might connect us.  So as new joint matches come, I try as do other co matches to hone a little closer.

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I worked with Adoptees in Search, Denver CO. Their ratio was quite different than yours: 75% positive reunions with birth families.

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My two sisters and I were adopted by our father and stepmother in 1961.  One sister through DNA was found to have a different father that my other sister and I.  We knew of our entire family from both sides of the family and so did the other sister. I am finding it hard to find ancestors back on our mother's side of the family as another half sibling had information on 17 generations back on CDs and the family bible that was stolen from his home and so it has been difficult to get information.

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Absolutely agree with you! I include adopted and stepchildren.

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I feel for you all my sympathy books photos and other mementos that you have either bought or have saved and treasured lend them to a family member even those that preach you should not steal and supposedly other honest people considered it fair game to never return them. To think only 150 years ago they would have lost their head for committing such a crime.

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I hear you.   :)

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Well done you we are all family at some stage some sooner than later.

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@Lloyd, thank you - I would love to be part of a lineage society, but because of my adoption, I'm "not eligible" unless I can prove a biological ancestor qualifies me. My adoptive mother was descended from at *least* 5 Revolutionary War veterans (one of her cousins claims we share 11), but despite that, I'm not eligible. I had everything ready for her to submit for DAR membership, as she had a friend who was part of our local chapter, but I don't believe she did.

Answer 3

Yes. There are a few. The one that comes to my mind is one concerning a woman who ended up being a 4th cousin. She contacted me on Ancestry and over Skype we figured out our connection. It turns out she was adopted and her mother was, too.

I helped sort things out as best I could and whenever I find information on the family, I share it with her.

Answer 4

Yes, my paternal grandfather was adopted when he was a toddler. I have been able to determine that the couple who adopted him didn't have any children of their own but one of them was a 2nd cousin.

Comments

Yes, even adoption agencies in the past tried to match up children with the same type of people and families they originated from so sometimes by accident they gave you to new parents who had a slight relationship anyway.

Answer 5

None that I know of, but I did find a DNA match who turned out to be a sperm donor baby, and we figured out that his biological father had to be one of my father's first cousins.

Comments

Yes, a sperm donors child contacted me about one of the surnames on my husband's mothers tree who said he dearly loved his parents but just wanted to know what type of family the donor came from and I was able to tell him some wonderful positive facts about the family and where to discover a tree that goes back to 1400 real bluebloods with positive genetics. I was also contacted by a child of 12 doing a school project whose adopted mother was fine about her doing research I was able to fill her in about the romance of our Douglas clan and the past. She was not a close enough cousin to even guess her parentage but that is all she required anyway. I have also been contacted by someone whose uncle murdered his mother and his sister in a drug dispute. Someone whose both parents were drug dealers and identification of a woman who was a Joan Doe all these was in America so perhaps more people tested there more diversity?

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Maybe this is why I'm completely uninterested in searching for Mayflower passengers and fancy famous ancestors. There are living people in this world now who I would love so, so much to get to know. Aunts, uncles and cousins. People I might even get to hug some day.

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Hey AmyLynn, 15th cousin kevin---hug hug! Out of all my ancestor I have found thru Wiki Tree, I don't think any would compare to the people I called Grandpa and Grandma growing up.

Answer 6

My Second Great-Grandfather Leo Lane (Greenwood) (Lane-17108) was adopted. He was likely born in 1881 to an unknown Armstrong and Emma Lane who changed her name to Armstrong and later married Herman Gerken. For some reason, Emma gave up Leo in 1888 and he was adopted by British-born Civil War Volunteer John "Jack" Greenwood and his wife Mahala Curtis Greenwood.

Comments

Funny thing I seem to suffer from a complaint called Serendipity I sent some generalized information to an Armstrong enquirer this morning and discovered the relationship I have been trying to find for years in a remote area of America there all in front of me on my mother's Armstrong line. When I step out to help I get rewarded in another way.

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Two horses pull 3x's what one can. Think teamwork

Answer 7

My grandfather George Dewey Craig (Craig-9117) was adopted. We have very little info on his family, adopted or birth. Since I had my DNA tested, I realize I share DNA with Craig family members, and wonder if he was adopted by another family member. He uses Glenwood Iowa as where he grew up, but cannot find him on any census in 1900 or 1910. He is my biggest brick wall.

Comments

Does anyone disappear off a census at that time a female member of the Craig family? appearing on holiday somewhere. It's probably before adoption records and often babies were just handed over the fence to someone who wanted a child. he may have even been registered as someone else and doesn't appear on the next census so presumed dead.

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Thank you for your interest. The family story goes, George was born to a family who could not afford any more children, so he was given to another family. So over the back fence has always been a theory, or while passing the mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving if he remained in the same family. One question comes from his possible birthplace, Mills Iowa, where there was a doctor named W. D. Craig practicing and delivering children, which has always made me wonder if he had anything to do with his name. Also, there is a facility that was called the Iowa Institute for Feeble Children, previously used as an orphan home in Glenwood Iowa, the city he referenced as where he grew up. I am presently working with 2 relatives to compare DNA in hopes of figuring out what we all have in common with George.

Answer 8

Yes, my mother. She was born Hannelore Gisela Grabow in Berlin in 1934. Her father is unknown and was never revealed by her mother.
In 1942 she was adopted by her mother's husband, Josef Wilhelm Beumer and her birth name was officially changed to Beumer.
Unfortunately, her stepfather was Killed in action in 1944 during World War 2. Since her mother never remarried, she grew up fatherless together with her half-brother Hans-Jürgen Beumer.

Comments

There is a Facebook page for people with German ancestors you might be able to make contact with a cousin that way.

Answer 9

My mother was adopted.  How do we indicate that on WikiTree and link to both the biological family and the adopted family?  I'd love to know more about my biological heritage, but it is my adopted family that I identify with most.  I don't want to erase either connection.

Comments

Wikitree doesn’t handle adoptions well. You have only one parental choose than you can link the other in your biography of the person… for example I am adopted- and I am linked to my biological parent, and then I say I was adopted in my biography and link the adopted parents there. It definitely needs to be changed in My opinion

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i initially listed my Mom's adopted parents until Wikitree connected me to Mom's maternal side.  There is a format you can find in Help that neatly presents both sets of parents with the proper titles and Wikitree links if you have them profiled.

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I have two trees on Ancestry - one in my adopted name, one in my birth name. It works well. Obviously people researching my adoptive family won't find me and my brother, but those researching my birth family will get a bit of a shock if they don't already know!!

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Thank you everyone.  I already have Mom's biological parents explained in the text of the biography, but I love the neat little box you put in for your mom [Steedman-78], David.  I searched the help section and only found that I could do what I've already done -- no instructions on the neat little box.  Do you remember how you did that?

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i might have found it outside of Wikitree.  Here is the raw form.  Edit as required.

{{Adopted Child

|Adopted Father=[[Steedman-274|Peter Robertson Steedman]]

|Adopted Mother=[[Boland-1202|Margaret Boland]]

|Date=20 Jul 1929

|Location=Toronto, York, Ontario, Canada

|Biological Father=[[Palmer-10049|Thomas Palmer]]

|Biological Mother=[[McKerroll-10|Florence McKerrall]]

}}

Answer 10

My tree is riddled with adoptions, tons on my mother’s side - and a few on both my adopted father and biological father’s side… and yes, I’m an adoptee- with an adopted sibling as well.

Answer 11

I have three children. One is genetically mine. All three are MY children. We also have a beautiful Chinese born young lady in our family. Three children, eight grandchildren and one great-grandchild [ so far ].

Answer 12

Yes, my second son is an adoptee from Korea.

Answer 13

My father, Bernard Ryder was adopted. Thanks to some research he did years ago, I was able to pick up the pieces and identify his birth mother. There are two other adoptions that I know of in our family. As for how to manage adopted family AND birth family on WikiTree, I used the adoption template. It's fine for indicating adoptive parents with links to their lines. But it doesn't provide for adoptive siblings. So I added links to siblings in my dad's profile.

Answer 14

After suspecting for many years that my great grandma might be adopted (only child arrived when mom was over 40) I was able to make headway on this theory. With DNA (Ancestry- 23 is fairly useless as it doesn't have enough family trees) I was able to Identify a birth family, though not the specific individual. It took about 2 years, I needed to identify all of my DNA relatives out to 3rd cousin by branch, ended up with a group that didn't match known branches, but all had ancestors in common, and that were in the right place at the right time.

Answer 15

I just did a profile for [[Ripp-120|Nicholas Ripp]] who is my 2nd cousin 2xremoved, in which 1910 census states daughter Stella was adopted, born NY and parents unknown.  Sounds like a possible "orphan train" child to me.  Haven't had a chance to do more on him yet.

Answer 16

I was contacted by a DNA relative who was an adoptee. He had found the name of his birth mother and I was able to place her in my tree and give him his maternal history back to 1700's Scotland. That surprised him as he'd thought he was 100% Irish.

Answer 17

Yes, I am the adopted one. I have no idea about my birth family other than that I was told my birth mother was very young. My adopted family brought me home from the hospital at birth and I have never known anything else.

Answer 18

I am the mother of a child placed for adoption at a time when the break was supposed to be total, with neither child nor birth parents knowing anything about the other. In 1975 the law was changed giving adopted children the right to see  their original birth certificate upon turning 18. My son did not try to find me until he was over 40, but since then we have been in regular contact and I am proud of what he has made of his life.

Answer 19

Ja, jag själv är adopterad vid 18 månaders ålder. Hade inte vetskap om det förrän i 20-årsåldern och plötsligt hade jag syskon, 5 stycken! Bara positivt, utom mötet med min biologiska mor. Gick inte att tala med henne, hon bara ursäktade sig och sade förlåt, förlåt. Jag fick en konstig, oförklarad "chock" efter detta!? Kunde inte med ett ord beröra frågan med min adoptivmamma! Hon inte med mig heller! Pappa var tyvärr bortgången när jag var 12 år!

Man jag kom från jord och lantbruk till en köping där pappa var bankkassör - så jag kan inte klaga...

Bertil

Answer 20

I was adopted at age 4 by my great aunt and uncle.  My mother and father had divorced and didn't want me.  I knew my parents, and they were told not to bother me.  Because of family events I was some times there when my father's family got together.  He had remarried and had a daughter, and I knew she was my half sister but she was told I was a cousin.  At age 54, after my father's wife died, he contacted me and wanted a reunion. I went and was able to see my sister.  My father lived 4 years after that and was able to meet my husband and children. My sister and I kept in contact until her death in 2020.  I was never able to know about my mother until I was able to get on the computer and look her up and since then found she died in 1980s of cancer and I had another sister who had also died.  But through the internet and myheritage I found several cousins who I am in contact with.

Comments

After I read your post, you sounded like family. Sure enough 10c1r. People of strong character often overcome much adversity. My mom was adopted at age 6. Still alive and "kickin' at 90. Sometimes blessing are disguised as tragedies.