As an adoptee, how is the best way to find my biological family?

Question

I have done DNA with minimal results, and I am unable to Locate a Sandra Margaret Goodwin who was 22 on June 30th of 1979.I have a photocopy of the original birth certificate with her name and social security. I have found one possible match, but she claims to have never had children.

Comments

what state?

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Michigan, it is closed adoption state and they said i need a consent signed by my biological family to open them..... welll I wouldnt need to open them if i had contact

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I have checked the index with no luck.

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Have you checked Ancestry.com's yearbooks listings to see if you can find her in the class of 1975? (If she was born in 1957, that's the year she should have graduated high school, plus or minus a year in either direction) Also, Michigan puts the mother's SSN on birth certificates?? Mine from Mississippi certainly doesn't have my mother's SSN on it.

I have a friend that's younger than you, Eric, and the adoption agency lied to his birth mother and told her that he died as an infant. This was surprisingly common, ostensibly so that the birth mothers would "emotionally move on" but realistically, probably to stop birth parents from looking for their children. I don't know if your birth mother was told this, but if she was, that could be a reason she's not looking for you.

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They do have it on there. The only thing on ancestry.com that shows up, is a woman matching the description getting married. I was then able to dig and find a corresponding yearbook. However, she says she never had a child and was never in Michigan.

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FYI Eric, your gedmatch ID on your profile appears to be incorrect. A small item, but it could potentially help someone with matching DNA find you.

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If you know what city in Michigan, and can travel, go to the public library there and check the old city directories ( called POLK directories)  for GOODWINs that lived in the city about the year of your birth. Then start tracking those names down in more recent directories and phone books and see if any of them has info about Sandra.

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Thank you for bringing the GedMatch ID issue to my attention. The one up was for GenesisGedMatch. I have changed it to the converted Gedmatch and placed my genesis as a comment.

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Hi Steven Harris, I am confused by your comment about the Adoption Angel tag.  I am an Adoption Angel part of the WikiTree Adoption Angel Project who helps adoptees.

Thank you Eric for your great questions and thank you everyone for helping with information!

Answer 1

Michigan has a central adoption registry that you can check to see if permission has been given to be contacted  http://www.michigan.gov/mdhhs/0,5885,7-339-73971_7116_7125_7656-287404--,00.html

There is also a confidential intermediary program administered by the Michigan Courts   http://www.michigan.gov/mdhhs/0,5885,7-339-73971_7116_7125-14050--,00.html

You should at least request the Non-identifying Information Report  http://www.michigan.gov/mdhhs/0,5885,7-339-8319_8566-16927--,00.html

And as Charlotte recommended, fill out the request for help form from the Adoption Angels.  We are here to help.  https://www.wikitree.com/contact/adoption/

Comments

you could try these websites... michiganadoptionregistry-adopted.com.

MDHHS-State of Michigan.

MDHHS-central adoption registry.

on one of these sites it has closed adoptions information on how to obtain records. also, you could upload your raw data from your ancestry dna  to familyfinder.com. it might help you locate relatives. have you tried looking her up under marriages to see if she is listed under a married name?  good luck to you

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Thank you. I have uploaded my 23andMe to various sights and gotten possible leads on 2nd and third cousins. I am waiting on more information from the probate court that handled my adoption. I have found some matching information under marriages, but the person on the other end is either not my mother or a liar.... no way for me to tell

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Hi Eric. If you have only taken a DNA test with 23&me, you might want to consider taking one with Ancestry as well. They have a much larger database of testers, so you may have other close matches there that can help you in your search. It's great to have actual records (like your original birth certificate), but sometimes that information isn't always correct. Having DNA matches that help confirm or rule out that information is a great resource, especially when people start denying ever placing a child for adoption.

Answer 2

I posted on the national adoption registry looking for my half sister. I put in the general information I had. she happened to be looking on the site too and found my post. she did ancestry dna which connected her dna to the surname of our moms maiden name then she looked at other peoples ancestry tree to find someone with that surname and birth year on peoples trees and found my tree. there was my mom on my tree. she contacted us and she sent my mom a reg dna test and she was her daughter. if any of sandras family has been doing a search then they might have posted on the adoption registry site as well

Comments

I tried that with no luck a couple years ago, and check back a couple times a year with no luck.

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I would register with G's Registry.  They are the best and only one I recommend.  Here's the link:

http://www.gsadoptionregistry.com/

Answer 3

If you need help we have mentors or family finders: https://www.wikitree.com/contact/adoption/

Answer 4

Steve Harris, the adoption angel tag is correct here as it is associated with the WikiTree Adoption Angels Project which has mentors that assist adoptees in adding their profile to WikiTree as well as family fingers who assist adoptees in locating birth family.

Eric Luongo, you might wish to complete a, Adoptee Request for Assistance form at the Adoption Angels Project.  There will indeed be an angel there willing to assist you in your search.

Answer 5

Are you absolutely positive that's the right person?  I had contacted EVERY single Barbara J Turner born in 1943 & 44. (My mother's birth name and info) However, my bmom had lied about her name. I spent 20 years looking for the wrong person!!  I was on every registry. I even had my original birth certificate!!    On top of that, no one even knew I existed. If no one knows you exist they're not going to be looking for you!!

I began my search 20 years ago. Last year I took three DNA tests. I found both sides of my birth family in just under a year. I used speculative mirror trees to find them.

I then used every single family tree type of site to try to locate anyone who may have been involved in the family. I then used Facebook and other social media sites to reach out to family members.

Don't give up!!!

Comments

I am not 100% positive.... I do have a SSN I am waiting for a verification that they match

Answer 6

Firstly, you have my best wishes.  I'm going through this process at the moment, but slightly down a different track. Hove got the court records from England, and contacted a 1 of three half-siblings. Sadly they were not surprised by my existence, but have made it extremely clear that they want nothing to do with me or my family. Which is really sad for them

However others have suggested signing up with adoption angels here. I have and the person helping me has been brilliant. 

Secondly, I am working through the book The Family Tree Guide to DNA Testing and Genetic Genealogy (2nd Edition 2019) by Blaine T Bettinger. I would recommend it to anyone in our situation. I got it from my local library, but have now ordered my own copy from the publisher.  Great reference book and full of resources (particularly for USA adoptees).

Good Luck

Comments

I agree that  it is "really sad for them." I'm so glad you are getting some very helpful assistance from your Adoption Angel. I love to hear that!