Really, this is about a very subtle issue that seems especially hard for people to grasp. I have certain second cousins who I would certainly match if they saw fit to actually get tested. My good friend and former co-worker would ALSO match these people, even though he and I are not related. [Well, he's definitely at LEAST 4th or 5th cousins, if we are related! ;) Plus, he isn't in my matches.]
The thing is, I discovered that one of my dad's 1st cousins (who happens to share our surname) married a 1st cousin of my friend's dad (who happens to share HIS surname). Their kids are MY 2Cs - and have my surname; but they are also my FRIEND'S 2Cs - and their mom's maiden name is his surname.
Just because we're related to a few of the same people, that DOESN'T make the two of us related to EACH OTHER.
At 10cM, though, were talking about the same thing, but at a much more distant level. At LEAST 3C,and most are probably more like 6Cs.
So what it's about is that you might have countless thousands of 6Cs, a fraction of whom of have tested and matched you. But THEY, in turn, have countless thousands of 6Cs, too - including your son-in-law, in a relative handful of cases.
It may seem counterintuitive, but it really makes perfect sense. In fact, THIS is EXACTLY why they demand that you match sufficiently distant relations on the exact same segment, for triangulation!