Beyond what Tom has already commented, I think you are off to a fine start... I do have some suggestions on things you may want to think about doing - but they are just suggestions based on my own preferneces and I am sure there are as many ways of writing a bio as there are users on wikitree. Just so you are aware I have used italics to denote anything that is or could actually be part of the bio.
1. When you write a fact based on a source it is always nice to include a footnote to indicate which source you are considering authoratative - for example if you don't have a birth record, you may be basing the date of birth off a census record, a headstone, a published genealogy, etc., and those dates often have a great deal of variation - simply add to the end of the sentence or paragraph, as an example <ref>Birth Certificate </ref> to indicate which source a fact came from.
2. While each contributor has their own style, in my opinion, sources should read like a bibliography or table of authorities, and transcriptions should be distinct (either written in the narrative; added as a footnote; placed after the bibliographic style entry; or my preferred method in its own section of transcriptions.) As an example your first source "Birth:" I would probably enter under sources as:
Birth Certificate of George Russell Beebe, Registration 398-5554-428 (1920), Missouri Department of Health and Senior Services - Bureau of Vital Records, Personal copy in the files of [[Beebe-655|Barbara Beebe]]
Then I would (in accordance with my personal preferences) have a section just before the acknowledgments that would look like:
== Transcriptions ==
Birth Certificate, transcribed by Barbara Beebe (or whoever did the actual transcription)
STATE OF MISSOURI, Bureau of Vital Statistics CERTIFICATE OF BIRTH: Place of Birth County of Jackson, Township of Blue, ... etc. etc.
If you want to go really crazy you can even link names in the transcriptions to their wikitree profiles - since there are already links to immediate family on the profile, this is not particularly valuable for parents, siblings, and children, but you could link to the profile of a cousin who was a witness at a wedding, or the officiant (if they have a wikitree profile) - this can be a really nice touch; especially when dealing with in-laws, nephews or nieces that are often mentioned in wills and probate records - who inhereted the land, who got the hunting rifle?
3. The default == Footnotes == section is missing - this goes hand-in-hand with my first suggestion. simply add to the profile:
== Footnotes ==
</references>
This will display any footnotes you have included using <ref> tags as suggested in point 1. While the wikitree default places footnotes after sources, I prefer to have them immediately before the sources just like a book would have an endnote in the text, a page of endnotes and then the bibliography.
4. You have taken the time to include profile numbers, such as Beebe-655 and Beebe-698. To make it easier to look at the other profile create a link using, as an example [[Beedbe-698|Charles "Glen" Beebe]]. It will display just the name as a hyperlink to the indicated wikitree profile.
5. To reiterate and expand on the point Tom made about the links to ancestry. While ancestry links can be annoying to non-ancestry users as they are inaccesible, it is perfectly fine to leave them in, but they should still be cleaned up. as an example:
Source: #S-1507419064 Page: Year: 1940; Census Place: Sni-A-Bar, Jackson, Missouri; Roll: T627_2116; Page: 3B; Enumeration District: 48-53 APID: 1,2442::90534191
First Off, it would be 'nicer' looking, and more readable, for it to appear in a more bibliographic format, such as:
1940 U.S. Census, Population Schedule, Sni-A-Bar, Jackson, Missouri, Enumeration District [ED] 48-53, Sheet 3B, Russell Beebe Household; National Archives microfilm publication T627, roll 2116; digital image, Ancestry.com
Secondly, this same source appears 7 times in the (second) sources list because that entire entry has been put inside a <ref> tag as a footnote (done automatically when you uploaded the gedom) supporting two name variations, two birth, and two residences. While each fact should have it's own footnote, it can be reduced to something much simpler (it just needs to clearly indicate which source is being cited) - in this case <ref>1940 U.S. Census</ref>
6. The facts imported by a gedcom take up much more room than needed. As an example:
Birth: Blue Township
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Date: Oct 18, 1920
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Place: Blue, Jackson County, Missouri, USA[8][9][10][11][12]
Could just be edited down to:
Birth: Oct 18 1920, Blue, Jackson County, Missouri, USA <ref>1940 U.S. Census, 1930 U.S. Census, Social Security Death Index, Missouri Find a Grave Index</ref>
7. Categories are totally not required, but if you wish to use them, the instructions are here: http://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Using_Categories
To give a quick example, if you wanted Russell to show up on the category page for Jackson Co., Missouri, as William L. Ray already does (see Link:http://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Category:Jackson_County%2C_Missouri )
You would enter in Russell's profile (it is suggested at the top, but some people prefer the bottom to avoid white space at the top of the profile) [[Category:Jackson County, Missouri]]
8. I have mentioned 'bibliographic format' a number of times - there are a wide variety of styles: APA, MLA, Evidence Explained, being some of the more common ones; what style to use is an entirely personal choice, but all of them more or less present the same information just in different sequences and formatting.
In closing I will reiterate these are all just suggestions - pick through them, adopt those you like, play around with them on a profile; ultimately you have to find the balance the amount of effort expended against the point where you are happy enough with the resulting profile.
