How do we recognize queer individuals that were partnered but never married?

Question

Hello all,

I am unsure of the answer to this question and wanted to hear other opinions. I am currently working on the profile of [[Ellis-28228|Ruth Charlotte Ellis (1899-2000)]], a prominent lesbian historical figure. She never married, nor would she have been able to, but she lived with the same woman, Ceciline Franklin,  for over 30 years. In the 1950 census, Ceciline is listed as Ruth's "partner". Is there ever a situation in which we would link them as spouses? I am at the very least going to mention this in both their profiles, but it feels wrong to not connect them.

Answer 1

I'd connect them as spouses if there is evidence that they  considered themselves to be partners. I've linked  as spouses heterosexual  couples that were partners but  unable to marry because a first wife was still alive (when divorce was not legally possible for ordinary people).

I also note https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Lister-1361 is linked to her partner 180 years before same sex marriage was allowed.  We know that she considered herself married.

Edited link

Comments

I agree with Helen and Jim and Melanie, if they considered themselves to be effectively married even if it may not have been legal then or they decided to not go down the legal pathway, then they should be connected as spouses.

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I’ve done this exact thing for one of my own ancestors because he had an ongoing affair with one woman and children with her and one other woman all while still married and having children with his wife. 

I wanted the children connected to their mothers so I did it this way and put notes in all the profiles that they weren’t legally married. 

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Since this is a USBH profile, I'll chime in as well and say that USBH agrees with Helen and John. We link them if they would be considered married in today's terms, at least as common law spouses.

Answer 2

I will go out on a limb here and say no to a connection. There are many people who live together which doesn't make them "married" or in any kind of relationship. 

When a couple are recognized by as law as "married" or by "common law married" that becomes a different issue.

Quote: She never married, nor would she have been able to, but she lived with the same woman, Ceciline Franklin. 

Comments

If they considered themselves married, WikiTree allows them to be recorded as married (see my earlier comment). I agree with Doug that we shouldn't be judging what is "valid". It's how they saw the situation that's important, not how we or the state might or might not see it. This is particularly true in the case of same-sex or inter-racial partnerships which cruelly were illegal at some places and times in history.

commented Jan 28, 2023 by Jim Richardson 

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Thank you Melanie. This is important, so I'd like to add more detail and references to the comment from me you've quoted.

WikiTree allows people—queer or straight—who considered themselves married to be connected as spouses.

See this authoritative answer from Jamie Nelson on 9 December 2021:

If the people considered themselves married, then they can be attached as spouses in WikiTree even if they weren't officially married. Just explain the lack of a date in the biography.

Similarly Jamie wrote on 24 September 2022:

If they considered themselves as spouses, you can still add them as married even if there wasn't a formal ceremony. Just make sure to explain things in the biography.

If the relationship started at a known time, you could also use that in the marriage date field, maybe marked "about".

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In Canada, regardless of any official registration, 2 parties who consider themselves partners and who have lived together continuously more than 1 year are considered to be in a common-law relationship.

Answer 3

I've seen a ton of LGBTQ+ profiles linked as spouses. That's how I have David Wojnarowicz, who died in 1992. His partner died in 2019 and lists David as his life partner in his obituary.

Answer 4

You can connect them. The only thing is to prevent a Same sex marriage suggestion appearing the Category:LGBTQPlus needs to be added to the profiles. It can be on both profiles or just one of the profiles. 

Comments

Thanks for reminding us about that, Darren.