I am going through something very similar (almost exactly as you describe).
I keep coming back to the same ancestral couple the possible ancestor: Abraham Kuykendall, Van_Kuykendaal-9
USA relatives are rare relatives of my husband, so a little out of my depth there.
My way of dealing with this exactly as Gary explains.
Plus my sort of heat map version:
I also use my home genealogy database (in my case Legacy Family Tree, but all are similar, mine is usually not attached to anything online). I add in rough trees of matches if they are available. Then add an obvious tag or HashTag #DNA for any living DNA links I find. I NEVER PUBLISH ANY LIVING OR RECENT, but it helps me in a descendant chart to highlight the DNA matches for an Ancestral couple.
A lot of work but one day I will find the connection. between my brick wall and Alan George D'Arcy D'Arcy-1229. Been looking since 1988.