I agree with you 110% that profiles should never be blindly changed to match FindAGrave, and should never be changed without thoroughly reviewing the information that is already there. When someone has made changes like this to profiles I manage I have had good luck contacting the person privately and asking about the source for the change.
But, I think requiring a consultation with the profile manager before any change would add way to much overhead and hamper many desirable improvements. Just look at how long it takes to get most merges through, or to change an Unknown LNAB. Of course it is a good idea to consult with the profile manager before making major changes, and there are some profile that benefit from project protection.
One way to discourage Data Doctors from editing profiles you manage is to regularly review your suggestions list. If you can't "fix" the suggestion you can add a comment as to the further research needed before the suggestion can be resolved. For discrepancies with FindAGrave data, I like to also add an explanation to the Research Notes section of the profile.